DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been together for 16 years (eight years married). After we were first married, we rejoiced. He used to take me out on dates. He knows I enjoy dining and dancing, however it has been years since he invited me out. I actually have talked to him about this on multiple occasions, and he says he hears me, but we never do anything. I’m uninterested in repeating my wants and desires to him.
I recently met someone very nice, and I’m drawn to him. He’s attentive and picks up on little things I don’t mention. We’re each married and haven’t any intention of leaving our spouses. We have now been talking on the phone only. We have now had no physical contact. But once we talk, I experience feelings that make me need to be with him.
I really like my husband and our family, but I’m falling for this gentleman. What do I do about my feelings? — TORN IN NEW YORK
DEAR TORN: The very first thing to do could be to finish the flirtation along with your phone buddy. Then take a protracted, hard take a look at what has happened to your relationship along with your husband. Tell him you’re feeling the 2 of you’re drifting apart because he not gives you the eye he did while you were first married.
Is the issue an absence of initiative on his part? How would he react when you asked him out for a date? Ask when you could have done anything to cause him to lose interest, and if talking about this with a licensed marriage and family therapist would make a positive difference. Marriages wither if no effort is made to nurture them.
DEAR ABBY: My favorite uncle was a machinist who taught me to respect and look after tools. Although I ended up in tech, I still maintain an organized workbench in my garage. I often get comments about it, and I’m undecided easy methods to respond. Sometimes in social situations, folks mention it, although strangers walking by also feel they’ve a right to comment — “Your garage is so organized,” “I could eat off your garage floor,” and “My garage sure doesn’t appear to be this.”
My view is that it’s inside my house and none of their business. Am I purported to be complimented, support their decision to not clean their very own garage, or what? I don’t feel a have to justify, explain and even thank them for his or her observations, but there’s this uncomfortable silence while folks await my response. Any suggestions? –– AWKWARD IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR AWKWARD: Yes. Leaving your garage door open is an invitation to passersby to look. The polite solution to reply to a compliment is to easily say, “Thank you!” I suggest you are attempting it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been together for 16 years (eight years married). After we were first married, we rejoiced. He used to take me out on dates. He knows I enjoy dining and dancing, however it has been years since he invited me out. I actually have talked to him about this on multiple occasions, and he says he hears me, but we never do anything. I’m uninterested in repeating my wants and desires to him.
I recently met someone very nice, and I’m drawn to him. He’s attentive and picks up on little things I don’t mention. We’re each married and haven’t any intention of leaving our spouses. We have now been talking on the phone only. We have now had no physical contact. But once we talk, I experience feelings that make me need to be with him.
I really like my husband and our family, but I’m falling for this gentleman. What do I do about my feelings? — TORN IN NEW YORK
DEAR TORN: The very first thing to do could be to finish the flirtation along with your phone buddy. Then take a protracted, hard take a look at what has happened to your relationship along with your husband. Tell him you’re feeling the 2 of you’re drifting apart because he not gives you the eye he did while you were first married.
Is the issue an absence of initiative on his part? How would he react when you asked him out for a date? Ask when you could have done anything to cause him to lose interest, and if talking about this with a licensed marriage and family therapist would make a positive difference. Marriages wither if no effort is made to nurture them.
DEAR ABBY: My favorite uncle was a machinist who taught me to respect and look after tools. Although I ended up in tech, I still maintain an organized workbench in my garage. I often get comments about it, and I’m undecided easy methods to respond. Sometimes in social situations, folks mention it, although strangers walking by also feel they’ve a right to comment — “Your garage is so organized,” “I could eat off your garage floor,” and “My garage sure doesn’t appear to be this.”
My view is that it’s inside my house and none of their business. Am I purported to be complimented, support their decision to not clean their very own garage, or what? I don’t feel a have to justify, explain and even thank them for his or her observations, but there’s this uncomfortable silence while folks await my response. Any suggestions? –– AWKWARD IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR AWKWARD: Yes. Leaving your garage door open is an invitation to passersby to look. The polite solution to reply to a compliment is to easily say, “Thank you!” I suggest you are attempting it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
