DEAR ABBY: I’m a 40-plus-year-old single male. I recently began hanging out with one in all my friend “Tom’s” ex-girlfriends. It’s now turning into greater than friends. “Pam” and I each have feelings for one another. She and Tom dated for five months and broke up eight months ago.
Do I owe it to Tom to ask his permission or tell him I’m seeing her? Pam has asked me to not say anything and to let him discover on his own, which is able to occur because we now have many mutual friends. I need to respect her alternative. But in addition, as Tom’s friend, I feel the correct thing to do is tell him. Please advise. I’m stuck between her wishes and doing what I believe is true. — STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN IOWA
DEAR STUCK: Have a chat with Pam. Explain that you just will not be sure how Tom will react if he sees the 2 of you arm-in-arm with no warning. He may not care, but he also could possibly be upset that you just are dating and hid it from him. Then tell Pam that, in light of your friendship with Tom, you like being upfront since it’s respectful and also you don’t like keeping secrets.
DEAR ABBY: My mom died a few years ago and left behind many collectibles which can be value reselling. I’m the oldest of 5 children and have spent essentially the most effort and time moving out her collection, with loads of help from two of my siblings, “some” help from one and absolutely none from one other one.
In her last days, Mom mentioned to not “forget concerning the gold.” She had collected some scrap gold that I sold for $900. I even have been sorting through the remaining inventory with no help from any of my siblings. Is it mistaken of me to not share that money with them? — OVERWHELMED SIBLING
DEAR OVERWHELMED: If you happen to truly felt comfortable pocketing the cash, you wouldn’t be asking me this query. Hearken to your conscience and share the proceeds from the sale of the valuable metal along with your siblings. To go away one in all them out would guarantee an estrangement.
DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was asked to depart a restaurant after the check had been paid because people were waiting for tables, and he was highly insulted. My position was that it was courteous to depart because people were waiting to have their dinner. He felt the waitress had no right to ask their party to depart. What’s your tackle this? — COURTEOUS IN THE EAST
DEAR COURTEOUS: I consulted Priscilla, operations manager at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills, about your query. She explained that some restaurants have a 90-minute cut-off date for diners to depart the restaurant. (For larger parties, it may be as much as 120 minutes.)
My tackle that is that relatively than making it the responsibility of the server to ask your friend to provide up the table, the manager must have come over and done it. It needn’t be an unpleasant exchange. A manager may sometimes offer the patron a seat on the bar and a free drink or dessert within the name of excellent customer relations.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 40-plus-year-old single male. I recently began hanging out with one in all my friend “Tom’s” ex-girlfriends. It’s now turning into greater than friends. “Pam” and I each have feelings for one another. She and Tom dated for five months and broke up eight months ago.
Do I owe it to Tom to ask his permission or tell him I’m seeing her? Pam has asked me to not say anything and to let him discover on his own, which is able to occur because we now have many mutual friends. I need to respect her alternative. But in addition, as Tom’s friend, I feel the correct thing to do is tell him. Please advise. I’m stuck between her wishes and doing what I believe is true. — STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN IOWA
DEAR STUCK: Have a chat with Pam. Explain that you just will not be sure how Tom will react if he sees the 2 of you arm-in-arm with no warning. He may not care, but he also could possibly be upset that you just are dating and hid it from him. Then tell Pam that, in light of your friendship with Tom, you like being upfront since it’s respectful and also you don’t like keeping secrets.
DEAR ABBY: My mom died a few years ago and left behind many collectibles which can be value reselling. I’m the oldest of 5 children and have spent essentially the most effort and time moving out her collection, with loads of help from two of my siblings, “some” help from one and absolutely none from one other one.
In her last days, Mom mentioned to not “forget concerning the gold.” She had collected some scrap gold that I sold for $900. I even have been sorting through the remaining inventory with no help from any of my siblings. Is it mistaken of me to not share that money with them? — OVERWHELMED SIBLING
DEAR OVERWHELMED: If you happen to truly felt comfortable pocketing the cash, you wouldn’t be asking me this query. Hearken to your conscience and share the proceeds from the sale of the valuable metal along with your siblings. To go away one in all them out would guarantee an estrangement.
DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was asked to depart a restaurant after the check had been paid because people were waiting for tables, and he was highly insulted. My position was that it was courteous to depart because people were waiting to have their dinner. He felt the waitress had no right to ask their party to depart. What’s your tackle this? — COURTEOUS IN THE EAST
DEAR COURTEOUS: I consulted Priscilla, operations manager at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills, about your query. She explained that some restaurants have a 90-minute cut-off date for diners to depart the restaurant. (For larger parties, it may be as much as 120 minutes.)
My tackle that is that relatively than making it the responsibility of the server to ask your friend to provide up the table, the manager must have come over and done it. It needn’t be an unpleasant exchange. A manager may sometimes offer the patron a seat on the bar and a free drink or dessert within the name of excellent customer relations.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
