DEAR ABBY: As a lonely, mixed-up teenager within the Eighties, I developed an enormous crush on a disc jockey at a neighborhood radio station. I might call him no less than once an evening when he was on the air, and he was kind enough to take my calls and speak with me about whatever I desired to babble about so long as he was able.
My parents hired him to DJ my Sweet Sixteen party and, although fewer than a dozen kids showed up, he was skilled and gracious throughout the entire ordeal. The highlight of the party was when he danced with me after he began playing “16 Candles.” I followed him to radio station events and was principally a general pest. He was nothing but kind, understanding and patient.
Now in my mid-50s, I realize I had some undiagnosed mental and social issues throughout my childhood that weren’t discussed and handled on the time, and I regret much of my behavior back then. The DJ remains to be involved in radio. He has since married and had children and, while I admit I used to be a tad jealous once I heard about it, I even have grown to be pleased for him and his family. He still holds a special place in my heart for being so kind and patient with me at such a weird time in my life.
I never had boyfriends in highschool or college. I married the primary guy who took a serious interest in me, but he left after seven years and two kids. I made a decision I wanted to succeed in out to the DJ with a letter, thanking him for being there for me once I needed someone to check with, for putting up with me for thus long and for understanding me even once I didn’t understand myself.
I’m NOT seeking to interfere in his pleased life, but I don’t wish to wait until his funeral to let him understand how grateful I’m and the way much he meant to me. Should I write and send the letter? — DJ SAVED MY LIFE
DEAR SAVED: That the disc jockey made such a profound difference in your life if you desperately needed support is wonderful. I feel it could please him to receive an expression of gratitude from you all these a few years later. By all means, send the letter.
DEAR ABBY: For the last three years, my neighbor has been having an affair. Her husband, although a bit of slow, is fundamentally a pleasant guy, and I feel he needs to be told. I probably would do it, however the two of them own some land and so they let people hunt for fun (not for meat) on their property, which makes me disrespect them each.
Should I act on my knowledge? Or should I let two individuals with no respect for the animal kingdom wallow in their very own putrescence? — POTENTIAL WHISTLEBLOWER
DEAR WHISTLEBLOWER: You’re comparing apples to oranges. In the event you feel you should tell the husband about his wife’s infidelity since it morally offends you, I suppose you might be free to try this. But to spoil someone’s marriage since you don’t approve of the very fact they permit hunting on their property seems very much excessive.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.