DEAR ABBY: My husband and I even have been married for 2 years. We rushed into marriage, unfortunately, before attending to know one another thoroughly. At any time when we have now a disagreement, he gives me the silent treatment for days. Sometimes, it lasts weeks.
He won’t eat anything I cook or help across the house. If I’m in a single room, he’ll lock himself up in one other one. He sleeps on the couch or on a pull-out mattress. Eventually, he’ll end it by returning to our bed and attempting to initiate intimacy. I often accept, but the difficulty never gets resolved or discussed — we just carry on. After I’ve tried discussing the problems, he says, “Don’t start!”
I’m fed up together with his childish behavior. We now have a 7-month-old baby and youngsters from my previous marriage, so it has turn out to be increasingly difficult for me to go away him. He’s not the kind to go to therapy. He’ll admit we have now communication issues, but that’s the extent of it. I’ve reached the purpose that I not care about our marriage, and if I had the means, I’d happily leave. Please help. — SILENT TREATMENT IN THE NORTHEAST
DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Because your husband doesn’t wish to go to therapy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. While you tell him that you simply plan to schedule some session, expect him to seek out a dozen explanation why you “don’t need it” or to enter one other silent phase. Therapy for you could be illuminating and will aid you determine how for much longer you need to tolerate an increasingly intolerable living situation.
DEAR ABBY: We recently attended the marriage of an in depth member of the family on my husband’s side. All went seemingly well until the subsequent day once I was sharing snapshots of the attractive day with my stepdaughter.
I promptly received what I’ll call a form letter via text from her, saying: “Hi! As the vacations approach, we’re sending this message to our close members of the family. With flu season coming up and an increase in COVID cases, we’re asking everyone to not kiss the child. This can also be a reminder to not take or post photos of the child. We take a number of beautiful photos of her and when you’d like some, we’re completely satisfied to send them to you. Our goal is to attenuate her media presence until she’s sufficiently old to consent to how her pictures are used.”
After I spoke to other members of the family, I spotted none of them had received this message. I’m hurt. I spent what I assumed was a wonderful day at a family function, taking snapshots of the event and of our grandchild. Now here’s a text telling me to not take pics of her. I don’t know how one can handle this. — JOY DESTROYED IN THE WEST
DEAR JOY DESTROYED: You’re the one one that received that message because you might be the one one that was taking photos. Parents are entitled to make a decision whether or not they want pictures of their children posted on social media. You must at all times ask whether it’s OK to post pictures of an event or a toddler before doing so. Now you recognize how your stepdaughter feels about it, so “handle this” by apologizing for any mistake you may have made.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I even have been married for 2 years. We rushed into marriage, unfortunately, before attending to know one another thoroughly. At any time when we have now a disagreement, he gives me the silent treatment for days. Sometimes, it lasts weeks.
He won’t eat anything I cook or help across the house. If I’m in a single room, he’ll lock himself up in one other one. He sleeps on the couch or on a pull-out mattress. Eventually, he’ll end it by returning to our bed and attempting to initiate intimacy. I often accept, but the difficulty never gets resolved or discussed — we just carry on. After I’ve tried discussing the problems, he says, “Don’t start!”
I’m fed up together with his childish behavior. We now have a 7-month-old baby and youngsters from my previous marriage, so it has turn out to be increasingly difficult for me to go away him. He’s not the kind to go to therapy. He’ll admit we have now communication issues, but that’s the extent of it. I’ve reached the purpose that I not care about our marriage, and if I had the means, I’d happily leave. Please help. — SILENT TREATMENT IN THE NORTHEAST
DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Because your husband doesn’t wish to go to therapy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. While you tell him that you simply plan to schedule some session, expect him to seek out a dozen explanation why you “don’t need it” or to enter one other silent phase. Therapy for you could be illuminating and will aid you determine how for much longer you need to tolerate an increasingly intolerable living situation.
DEAR ABBY: We recently attended the marriage of an in depth member of the family on my husband’s side. All went seemingly well until the subsequent day once I was sharing snapshots of the attractive day with my stepdaughter.
I promptly received what I’ll call a form letter via text from her, saying: “Hi! As the vacations approach, we’re sending this message to our close members of the family. With flu season coming up and an increase in COVID cases, we’re asking everyone to not kiss the child. This can also be a reminder to not take or post photos of the child. We take a number of beautiful photos of her and when you’d like some, we’re completely satisfied to send them to you. Our goal is to attenuate her media presence until she’s sufficiently old to consent to how her pictures are used.”
After I spoke to other members of the family, I spotted none of them had received this message. I’m hurt. I spent what I assumed was a wonderful day at a family function, taking snapshots of the event and of our grandchild. Now here’s a text telling me to not take pics of her. I don’t know how one can handle this. — JOY DESTROYED IN THE WEST
DEAR JOY DESTROYED: You’re the one one that received that message because you might be the one one that was taking photos. Parents are entitled to make a decision whether or not they want pictures of their children posted on social media. You must at all times ask whether it’s OK to post pictures of an event or a toddler before doing so. Now you recognize how your stepdaughter feels about it, so “handle this” by apologizing for any mistake you may have made.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
