DEAR ABBY: I’m divorced and have been dating my guy friend for five years. We recognized after we began dating that we love one another, and we planned to maneuver in together after a yr of dating. I used to be so excited after we began planning that I reached out to my guy’s ex-wife and daughter as a friendly gesture.
His daughter was getting married later within the yr, so I attempted to reassure her that I understood how stressful an enormous wedding is, and I wouldn’t be offended if I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t invited. Following the marriage, the primary time I met his ex-wife and kids was excruciating. His daughter was very unpleasant to me.
Now, years later, the situation has not improved. If I attempt to be Facebook friends, his daughter accepts my offer, but limits what I can see. That is ridiculous. After five years, I would really like to only gently close that door. Is that being mean or realistic? — TRIED, AND TRIED AGAIN
DEAR TRIED: While you reached out to your partner’s daughter, perhaps you got here on slightly too strong. It looks like a warm and caring gesture, unless your relationship was the explanation his marriage ended. Have you ever talked to your partner about it? Perhaps he may also help. This example won’t improve for those who “gently close the door.” You don’t must track his adult daughter’s activities on Facebook. (If she hated you, she would block you entirely.) It couldn’t hurt to step back and follow the established order, and that’s what I like to recommend.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I even have been together 30 years and married for 25. We’ve 4 wonderful adult children and 4 beautiful grandchildren. We began our family very young and at the moment are entering our 50s. I’m able to get out and travel the world, but my husband desires to move closer to certainly one of our youngsters to assist with the children. We’ve had many loud conversations regarding my unwillingness to boost children all all over again. I really like my grandchildren, but having been a mother since I used to be 16, I’m having fun with my newfound freedom.
Our son and his wife each have successful careers. They’ll afford quality child care, and I don’t see the necessity for us to uproot our lives and move hours away simply to be on-call babysitters. I really like the town we live in, and I’m beginning to resent his relentless “persuasion” and suggestions that relocation is what “most grandmothers would like to do.” Advice? — STAYING PUT IN FLORIDA
DEAR STAYING: Having raised 4 wonderful children because the age of 16, your feelings are comprehensible. I’ll assume that your husband desires to uproot your lives because he’s retired and has nothing meaningful to occupy his time. Please don’t allow him to wear you down for those who aren’t equally obsessed with becoming an on-call babysitter. You need to travel if you might have the means to do it. He could take that point to travel to wherever your son and his family live and provides them a break in your absence. That way you’ll each be doing something you enjoy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m divorced and have been dating my guy friend for five years. We recognized after we began dating that we love one another, and we planned to maneuver in together after a yr of dating. I used to be so excited after we began planning that I reached out to my guy’s ex-wife and daughter as a friendly gesture.
His daughter was getting married later within the yr, so I attempted to reassure her that I understood how stressful an enormous wedding is, and I wouldn’t be offended if I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t invited. Following the marriage, the primary time I met his ex-wife and kids was excruciating. His daughter was very unpleasant to me.
Now, years later, the situation has not improved. If I attempt to be Facebook friends, his daughter accepts my offer, but limits what I can see. That is ridiculous. After five years, I would really like to only gently close that door. Is that being mean or realistic? — TRIED, AND TRIED AGAIN
DEAR TRIED: While you reached out to your partner’s daughter, perhaps you got here on slightly too strong. It looks like a warm and caring gesture, unless your relationship was the explanation his marriage ended. Have you ever talked to your partner about it? Perhaps he may also help. This example won’t improve for those who “gently close the door.” You don’t must track his adult daughter’s activities on Facebook. (If she hated you, she would block you entirely.) It couldn’t hurt to step back and follow the established order, and that’s what I like to recommend.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I even have been together 30 years and married for 25. We’ve 4 wonderful adult children and 4 beautiful grandchildren. We began our family very young and at the moment are entering our 50s. I’m able to get out and travel the world, but my husband desires to move closer to certainly one of our youngsters to assist with the children. We’ve had many loud conversations regarding my unwillingness to boost children all all over again. I really like my grandchildren, but having been a mother since I used to be 16, I’m having fun with my newfound freedom.
Our son and his wife each have successful careers. They’ll afford quality child care, and I don’t see the necessity for us to uproot our lives and move hours away simply to be on-call babysitters. I really like the town we live in, and I’m beginning to resent his relentless “persuasion” and suggestions that relocation is what “most grandmothers would like to do.” Advice? — STAYING PUT IN FLORIDA
DEAR STAYING: Having raised 4 wonderful children because the age of 16, your feelings are comprehensible. I’ll assume that your husband desires to uproot your lives because he’s retired and has nothing meaningful to occupy his time. Please don’t allow him to wear you down for those who aren’t equally obsessed with becoming an on-call babysitter. You need to travel if you might have the means to do it. He could take that point to travel to wherever your son and his family live and provides them a break in your absence. That way you’ll each be doing something you enjoy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.