DEAR ABBY: I used to be dating a person for the past two years. More often than not, we enjoyed being together. Nevertheless, sometimes our discussions would turn into heated and hurtful arguments.
He would disregard my standpoint, ultimately shut me down and make me feel just like the disagreement was my fault.
After our most up-to-date argument, I finally decided to finish our relationship. I’ll admit that a few of these arguments were alcohol-fueled, which might bring on an accusatory tone despite my attempts to make clear any statement or query I made.
After I take into consideration how I allowed myself to be picked apart and beaten down by this individual, it brings on ambiguous feelings knowing the girl I’m and could possibly be. I also wonder how I allowed his behavior to develop into acceptable.
For the sake of my sanity, I made a decision to interrupt away. But I fear I could once more do what I at all times have done to get back into his “good graces” — apologize profusely just for us to repeat the cycle.
I’m depressed and exhausted. I would like to remain strong and never allow fleeting memories of past good times to cloud my decisions about this or any future relationships. How? — FINALLY BREAKING FREE IN FLORIDA
DEAR FINALLY BREAKING: If alcohol changes the tone of your voice if you try to specific yourself, start by doing something about your drinking.
Effective ways to combat loneliness are staying busy with work and with friends, volunteering or taking over a latest hobby.
Equally necessary, before involving yourself in a latest romantic relationship, ensure that the person you’re seeing treats you with more respect than the last one did.
DEAR ABBY: My mother, who’s near 85, has decided to decorate like me.
Each time she sees me, she tells me how “cute” I look, and asks where I got the highest I’m wearing. The subsequent time I see her, she’s wearing the identical top. It’s gotten ridiculous.
I actually have a black beach coverup that’s made to seem like it’s crocheted or knitted. She went out and located herself one.
Consider me, a lady who’s 85 and seriously obese mustn’t be wearing this. What can I do about it? — ‘TWIN’ IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ‘TWIN’: Have you ever told your mother this bothers you? If you happen to haven’t, it is best to.
You must also offer to buy groceries together with her and help her find some “cute” things that may flatter her.
Years ago, a dress designer told me an expression: “She’s mutton dressed as lamb.” Your mother is deluded if she thinks wearing items an identical to yours will make her look as youthful as you.
Nevertheless, should you tell her that, take it from me — she’ll be seriously offended. Loosen up. Let her proceed on her own path, because you’ll be able to’t stop her and she or he’s hurting nobody.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.