DEAR ABBY: I’m a 57-year-old male. I haven’t any children, and I used to be forced to maneuver back in with my mother to start out my life another time. I divorced my wife because she was cheating.
I even have a cousin from Alabama who’s 30. I really like her dearly. She’s my favorite cousin, and I even have begun having feelings for her. I feel it could be my body’s way of telling me it desires to procreate and leave a legacy. I feel guilty about these thoughts and feelings. In my heart, I feel they’re shameful. These thoughts are something I need to take to my grave and never act upon. However the urge is growing stronger and it’s becoming a losing battle.
Telling her (or anyone else in my family) my true feelings can be a terrible thing for me to do. Are you able to please help me rid myself of those feelings for her? I’ll take any advice into consideration. — ASHAMED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR ASHAMED: In some (not all) states, marriage between cousins is legal. Tennessee and Alabama occur to be two of them. Your cousin could also be 27 years younger, but at 30, she’s a grown woman. Do you will have any indication of whether your feelings are reciprocated? Sometimes the sentiments we suppress only make them grow stronger. A method to resolve this is able to be to precise them.
In case your cousin doesn’t share your affection, keep in mind that every one women usually are not cheaters, as your wife was, and begin to construct a latest life when you search for an acceptable companion in your community.
DEAR ABBY: I married a recovering addict, and for years he did great. We made a stunning home and family together. Then one in all my husband’s drug buddies (a lady) resurfaced. My husband had an affair, went down that nasty road again and did some very cruel things to destroy our marriage. We have now been married 19 years and separated for the last three, with a divorce pending.
My husband now desires to make amends. He’s in a rehab program, but I’m reluctant. We have now been on a couple of dates, and I even have real concerns about what is going to occur once we run into the opposite woman. I asked her at the least six times to go away and stay away.
How should I expect him to react once we run into her? She’s deeply embedded in his social circle, way over I ever was because I don’t take care of the debauchery lifestyle. He guarantees he has cut ties with everyone in that circle. But I realize it’s only a matter of time until we run into her. — ANGRY AND HURT IN GEORGIA
DEAR ANGRY: You’re rightfully hurt and indignant, but when reconciling goes to work out well, it’s essential you’re assured that he isn’t still carrying a torch for her. You can be sensible (and fewer confrontational) when you ask your almost-ex-husband how he plans to react should he encounter her, slightly than dictate how he should do it. He’s in rehab and attempting to rebuild his life after the mess he fabricated from it. I see no reason to create a scene in case your paths cross. A courteous hello and goodbye should suffice.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
