DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law expect their second child. Everyone could be very pleased for them. The issue is the difference between her in-laws’ beliefs and mine. I used to be brought up in a family by which parties and celebrations were held at home. We opened our house to friends and relatives, everyone brought food and we celebrated the occasion.
The in-laws are substantially more well-to-do than we’re. They have a good time every occasion at a restaurant, club or venue, with many individuals attending. My daughter has been a component of this family for years and enjoys the massive celebrations.
The issue is, I’m being asked to contribute half the fee of her upcoming baby shower. For the venue, bartender, fees, linens, table decorations, etc., my share involves greater than $900. Abby, I’m not able to do that, nor do I need to. My daughter is offended with me because I refused, although I did promise to purchase anything she doesn’t receive on the shower.
Am I mistaken for refusing to participate on this? Or must I suck it up and give you the $900 to maintain the peace? — SAD MOM IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR SAD MOM: Your daughter could also be pregnant, but there are other “facts of life” she seems to have ignored. Certainly one of them is that the sort of celebrations to which she has change into accustomed cost greater than you possibly can comfortably afford to spend.
I assume there shall be future celebrations by which you shall be expected to participate. If that’s true, then it’s time to elucidate the plain to your daughter, her husband and her in-laws: Their variety of entertaining is solely out of your budget.
DEAR ABBY: I even have a pricey friend of greater than 30 years who has a nasty habit of being extremely nosy. She says it shows she cares in regards to the person. She asks about members of my family she has never met and why they made certain decisions. How can I politely get her to stop? — NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
DEAR N.O.Y.B: Asking questions could also be this woman’s way of attempting to lengthen a conversation. Tell her you don’t know the answers to her intrusive questions, and if she really must know the data, she should ask the person herself. (Caution: Do not disclose their phone numbers.)
DEAR ABBY: I’m a shareholder in a small firm. The opposite shareholders don’t like me. It’s not on account of performance or personality issues. It’s because they’re a cliquey bunch and I don’t live of their city. I shall be retiring soon. The tradition is to have a retirement dinner complete with speeches. Any speeches from them could be phony. As for me, a speech in regards to the positives of being with the firm could be very, very short. I would like to not have a retirement dinner. What should I do? — SHAREHOLDER IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHAREHOLDER: Tell the opposite shareholders (nicely) that when a shareholder leaves the firm there’s traditionally a farewell dinner, but you’d prefer to not have one and easily plan to go away at the tip of your final day of employment. Period.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law expect their second child. Everyone could be very pleased for them. The issue is the difference between her in-laws’ beliefs and mine. I used to be brought up in a family by which parties and celebrations were held at home. We opened our house to friends and relatives, everyone brought food and we celebrated the occasion.
The in-laws are substantially more well-to-do than we’re. They have a good time every occasion at a restaurant, club or venue, with many individuals attending. My daughter has been a component of this family for years and enjoys the massive celebrations.
The issue is, I’m being asked to contribute half the fee of her upcoming baby shower. For the venue, bartender, fees, linens, table decorations, etc., my share involves greater than $900. Abby, I’m not able to do that, nor do I need to. My daughter is offended with me because I refused, although I did promise to purchase anything she doesn’t receive on the shower.
Am I mistaken for refusing to participate on this? Or must I suck it up and give you the $900 to maintain the peace? — SAD MOM IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR SAD MOM: Your daughter could also be pregnant, but there are other “facts of life” she seems to have ignored. Certainly one of them is that the sort of celebrations to which she has change into accustomed cost greater than you possibly can comfortably afford to spend.
I assume there shall be future celebrations by which you shall be expected to participate. If that’s true, then it’s time to elucidate the plain to your daughter, her husband and her in-laws: Their variety of entertaining is solely out of your budget.
DEAR ABBY: I even have a pricey friend of greater than 30 years who has a nasty habit of being extremely nosy. She says it shows she cares in regards to the person. She asks about members of my family she has never met and why they made certain decisions. How can I politely get her to stop? — NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
DEAR N.O.Y.B: Asking questions could also be this woman’s way of attempting to lengthen a conversation. Tell her you don’t know the answers to her intrusive questions, and if she really must know the data, she should ask the person herself. (Caution: Do not disclose their phone numbers.)
DEAR ABBY: I’m a shareholder in a small firm. The opposite shareholders don’t like me. It’s not on account of performance or personality issues. It’s because they’re a cliquey bunch and I don’t live of their city. I shall be retiring soon. The tradition is to have a retirement dinner complete with speeches. Any speeches from them could be phony. As for me, a speech in regards to the positives of being with the firm could be very, very short. I would like to not have a retirement dinner. What should I do? — SHAREHOLDER IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHAREHOLDER: Tell the opposite shareholders (nicely) that when a shareholder leaves the firm there’s traditionally a farewell dinner, but you’d prefer to not have one and easily plan to go away at the tip of your final day of employment. Period.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
