DEAR ABBY: My brother recently called to inform me he had proposed to his girlfriend, and he or she happily accepted. While I’m glad he’s completely satisfied, I’m anxious about what to do if he asks me to be his best man.
While his girlfriend generally is a nice person, they’ve a one-sided relationship during which she controls a number of what my brother does. She all the time must be the focal point at family functions and piles on the PDA toward my brother in public places.
I feel bad for him because he hasn’t been in lots of romantic relationships and, to me, it just looks like he’s settling. I could also be jumping the gun on this — possibly he won’t ask — but I actually consider that one of the best man at their wedding needs to be someone who truly supports this relationship — and that isn’t me. Any advice? — “WORST MAN” IN NEW YORK
DEAR “WORST MAN”: Bide your time. Because your brother’s fiancee is the one on top of things, she often is the one who decides who needs to be one of the best man. If she has a brother or a male cousin she feels near, chances are you’ll be off the hook. Nonetheless, in case you are asked, you should have to fess up and tell him about your concerns as diplomatically as possible.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 57-year-old single mom. All 4 of my children live at home. My oldest daughter can also be a single mom, with two beautiful children. She’s in college so she will get a good-paying job.
I even have one other daughter who’s in her 20s and has mental delays. She lies across the house reading her phone or using her computer. She’s very messy and refuses to care for herself or help with household chores.
A 3rd daughter can also be in college, but she lives in a dorm. When she’s home, she’s also form of sloppy, and my son is beyond messy. There’s trash and dirty dishes throughout his room. If I say anything, he ignores me. What would you do? — MESSED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR MESSED UP: You will have created this monster of an issue by failing to say your authority as a parent. What I’d do is something it’s best to have done at least 15 years ago: Tell the “children” what is anticipated of them, and what the penalty can be for ignoring you. Then, in the event that they don’t shape up, show them the door. You will have given your kids every thing except the inducement to care for themselves.
DEAR ABBY: I really like animals and currently have a flock of chickens, all hens. I look after these girls, and in return I get wonderful fresh eggs. I live in a right-to-farm community, and I’m considering getting a rooster to provide the ladies some excitement. The issue is, roosters crow, I even have neighbors and I’m undecided in the event that they can be upset with the crowing early within the morning. Advice? — WAITING TO CROW IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR WAITING: In the event you think the hens will develop into excited while you adopt the rooster, imagine the stir it’ll cause amongst your neighbors. Ask them first, unless you would like the feathers to fly.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My brother recently called to inform me he had proposed to his girlfriend, and he or she happily accepted. While I’m glad he’s completely satisfied, I’m anxious about what to do if he asks me to be his best man.
While his girlfriend generally is a nice person, they’ve a one-sided relationship during which she controls a number of what my brother does. She all the time must be the focal point at family functions and piles on the PDA toward my brother in public places.
I feel bad for him because he hasn’t been in lots of romantic relationships and, to me, it just looks like he’s settling. I could also be jumping the gun on this — possibly he won’t ask — but I actually consider that one of the best man at their wedding needs to be someone who truly supports this relationship — and that isn’t me. Any advice? — “WORST MAN” IN NEW YORK
DEAR “WORST MAN”: Bide your time. Because your brother’s fiancee is the one on top of things, she often is the one who decides who needs to be one of the best man. If she has a brother or a male cousin she feels near, chances are you’ll be off the hook. Nonetheless, in case you are asked, you should have to fess up and tell him about your concerns as diplomatically as possible.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 57-year-old single mom. All 4 of my children live at home. My oldest daughter can also be a single mom, with two beautiful children. She’s in college so she will get a good-paying job.
I even have one other daughter who’s in her 20s and has mental delays. She lies across the house reading her phone or using her computer. She’s very messy and refuses to care for herself or help with household chores.
A 3rd daughter can also be in college, but she lives in a dorm. When she’s home, she’s also form of sloppy, and my son is beyond messy. There’s trash and dirty dishes throughout his room. If I say anything, he ignores me. What would you do? — MESSED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR MESSED UP: You will have created this monster of an issue by failing to say your authority as a parent. What I’d do is something it’s best to have done at least 15 years ago: Tell the “children” what is anticipated of them, and what the penalty can be for ignoring you. Then, in the event that they don’t shape up, show them the door. You will have given your kids every thing except the inducement to care for themselves.
DEAR ABBY: I really like animals and currently have a flock of chickens, all hens. I look after these girls, and in return I get wonderful fresh eggs. I live in a right-to-farm community, and I’m considering getting a rooster to provide the ladies some excitement. The issue is, roosters crow, I even have neighbors and I’m undecided in the event that they can be upset with the crowing early within the morning. Advice? — WAITING TO CROW IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR WAITING: In the event you think the hens will develop into excited while you adopt the rooster, imagine the stir it’ll cause amongst your neighbors. Ask them first, unless you would like the feathers to fly.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
