DEAR ABBY: A co-worker and I even have developed a mutual friendship with a co-worker who lives in a special town. They’re a phenomenal human with the hugest heart. They escaped an abusive relationship and are currently a single parent to their special needs child. They’re also severely isolated because of the abuse they suffered.
We’ve all been friends for nearly a 12 months and have gone out in town, but I hadn’t seen this particular co-worker’s living quarters until recently. The place is horrendous. There’s trash and dirty dishes in all places, food omitted and a pungent odor that lingers in your clothes when you’ve left. I’m not one to guage, as I do know there’s at all times one other side to the story, but it surely was easily the worst conditions I’ve ever seen.
I’ve chatted with our mutual friend/co-worker. We each wish to help as best we are able to. Given the present disrepair of the home, I feel it’d be easier to pay for a cleansing crew to return than tackle it ourselves. How can we approach that conversation without causing offense? — CONCERNED CO-WORKER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CONCERNED: You might be right to be concerned. It will not be healthy for a baby to live within the form of home you have got described. Even though it is a touchy subject to approach, you and the mutual friend must have a personal, face-to-face discussion together with your co-worker and volunteer to have a crew are available to assist the person handle something that has clearly gotten uncontrolled.
DEAR ABBY: My son and his family live six hours from me. I can afford the gas to drive there, but paying for a hotel room for 2 nights is beyond my means. My son is a stay-at-home dad of seven children. Once I asked his wife if I could stay at their place, pondering one child could make a pallet on the ground, giving me their bed, she said she didn’t wish to put their child out.
At my age, I can’t sleep on the ground because I even have some health issues. This implies I can’t see my son and his family. They don’t offer to assist pay for a room. I remember when someone stayed in my parents’ home, they gave up their bedroom to the guest. I don’t expect my son and his wife to offer up their room, but considered one of the kids should. It makes me feel sad, disrespected and neglected since, previously, my son said he wanted me to catch up with to his children. Is there any answer? — DENIED GRANDMA IN WASHINGTON
DEAR GRANDMA: This will not be a case of being neglected or disrespected. From what you have got described, your daughter-in-law makes the selections in that household quite than your son. The rationale could also be that she’s the one financially supporting the family. When you (and your son) want you to grow closer to your seven grandchildren, perhaps a foldaway cot could possibly be purchased so that you can use whenever you visit. It shouldn’t cost greater than just a few nights in a hotel. (Have you ever ever ASKED them if it might be possible for them to pay a part of the fee of a hotel stay?) If a cot is out of reach, consider sleeping on a settee or in a simple chair, if one is comfortable enough.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: A co-worker and I even have developed a mutual friendship with a co-worker who lives in a special town. They’re a phenomenal human with the hugest heart. They escaped an abusive relationship and are currently a single parent to their special needs child. They’re also severely isolated because of the abuse they suffered.
We’ve all been friends for nearly a 12 months and have gone out in town, but I hadn’t seen this particular co-worker’s living quarters until recently. The place is horrendous. There’s trash and dirty dishes in all places, food omitted and a pungent odor that lingers in your clothes when you’ve left. I’m not one to guage, as I do know there’s at all times one other side to the story, but it surely was easily the worst conditions I’ve ever seen.
I’ve chatted with our mutual friend/co-worker. We each wish to help as best we are able to. Given the present disrepair of the home, I feel it’d be easier to pay for a cleansing crew to return than tackle it ourselves. How can we approach that conversation without causing offense? — CONCERNED CO-WORKER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CONCERNED: You might be right to be concerned. It will not be healthy for a baby to live within the form of home you have got described. Even though it is a touchy subject to approach, you and the mutual friend must have a personal, face-to-face discussion together with your co-worker and volunteer to have a crew are available to assist the person handle something that has clearly gotten uncontrolled.
DEAR ABBY: My son and his family live six hours from me. I can afford the gas to drive there, but paying for a hotel room for 2 nights is beyond my means. My son is a stay-at-home dad of seven children. Once I asked his wife if I could stay at their place, pondering one child could make a pallet on the ground, giving me their bed, she said she didn’t wish to put their child out.
At my age, I can’t sleep on the ground because I even have some health issues. This implies I can’t see my son and his family. They don’t offer to assist pay for a room. I remember when someone stayed in my parents’ home, they gave up their bedroom to the guest. I don’t expect my son and his wife to offer up their room, but considered one of the kids should. It makes me feel sad, disrespected and neglected since, previously, my son said he wanted me to catch up with to his children. Is there any answer? — DENIED GRANDMA IN WASHINGTON
DEAR GRANDMA: This will not be a case of being neglected or disrespected. From what you have got described, your daughter-in-law makes the selections in that household quite than your son. The rationale could also be that she’s the one financially supporting the family. When you (and your son) want you to grow closer to your seven grandchildren, perhaps a foldaway cot could possibly be purchased so that you can use whenever you visit. It shouldn’t cost greater than just a few nights in a hotel. (Have you ever ever ASKED them if it might be possible for them to pay a part of the fee of a hotel stay?) If a cot is out of reach, consider sleeping on a settee or in a simple chair, if one is comfortable enough.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
