A grandmother has shared one golden rule she urges all other grandparents to follow.
“Don’t be the grandparent who teaches your grandchild their first lesson in deception,” the grandmother said.
Posting to the TikTok account MoreThanGrand, DeeDee explains why a seemingly “harmless” request could possibly be doing more damage than good.
“Asking grandchildren to maintain secrets from their parents crosses a line that ought to never be crossed,” she declared.
“‘Don’t tell mommy’ is literally asking a baby to misinform their parents.”
DeeDee, whose account is devoted to helping latest grandparents navigate their role, says she often hears from parents frightened about this very issue.
She offered up a scenario that might sound familiar.
“Picture this, you give your grandchild an additional cookie and say don’t tell mommy. Seems harmless, doesn’t it? It’s not,” she explains.
Why? Because that little request teaches something big.
“‘Don’t tell mommy’ is literally asking a baby to misinform their parents. Children have to know that they will tell their parents anything, and also you’ve just taught them the alternative,” she explained.
It’s not nearly honesty — DeeDee says this also undermines the parent-child relationship, and more worryingly, can put children in danger.
“A baby’s safety can rely on open communication with their parents. Encouraging secret keeping is strictly how predators operate. You don’t need to normalise that,” she stressed.
So what’s the fix? Easy, says DeeDee: Respect the foundations parents set for his or her kids.
“In case you can’t do something openly, don’t do it all of it,” she said plainly.
“Secure adults do NOT ask children to maintain secrets”
The comment section applauded her message.
“A grandparent who has a problem with this or says that the parent is being ridiculous… they aren’t protected people!” one person expressed.
“Granny here. Thanks for this. Secure adults do NOT ask children to maintain secrets,” a fellow grandparent added.
“I’m glad that is being talked about. I believe people generally have good hearts, but they need to understand how damaging that is,” said a 3rd.
A fourth admitted, “I never give it some thought, so true. Thanks.”
DeeDee’s message, in the long run, is straightforward.
Your relationship along with your grandchild should strengthen their family bonds, not weaken them,” she shared.
It’s not only a cookie. It’s a lesson in trust.
