DEAR ABBY: I’m twice divorced and recently celebrated my 61st birthday. I look pretty unbelievable, and I’m in great health.
My husbands were really great guys, and I actually have maintained positive relationships with each. My first marriage lasted 20 years; the second lasted 10. I actually have been flying solo for the last five years.
I like my life and lifestyle and haven’t any desire to marry again. I like having my very own space and the liberty to do as I please.
My dilemma is, while I’m open to dating and having companionship, the boys I connect with online all need to be married! As soon as I tell them I’m not searching for marriage, they disappear.
Recently, I used to be literally hung up on in mid-conversation due to my response to the wedding query.
How can I get to the “let’s meet in person” part if the primary or second phone conversation ends things because I’m being honest? I don’t need to lie.
It’s difficult trying to elucidate that I now not consider I should be married in an effort to feel fulfilled. I actually have family and wonderful friends in my life, plus I’m very outgoing.
I admit that I do miss some elements of being in an exclusive relationship. It’s just that I’m not attempting to be a Mrs. anymore. Third time’s the charm … NOT! Please advise. — STOPPING AT TWICE IN TEXAS
DEAR STOPPING: I hear from so many ladies who’ve the alternative problem that you simply are having. As soon as they indicate that they ARE taken with marriage, the boys head for the hills.
You either haven’t met the precise men yet, or it’s possible you’ll be delivering your disinterest in marriage message too strongly.
You may have higher luck should you specify what you DO want — which appears to be companionship and a monogamous relationship.
DEAR ABBY: I want advice about my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage. Her 4 boys, aged 3 to 12, have been affected by what is occurring.
They usually are not properly disciplined and are being abused as well. Her husband is on drugs and abuses my daughter mentally and physically in front of the kids.
Should I keep letting her take my grandsons back to a nasty situation, or should I call child protective services? That is tearing me up inside.
We usually are not young enough to handle caring for the children full time because they’re so tousled. They’d find yourself in foster care.
What should I do? My daughter would probably lose her mind if she lost them, but I can’t stand to see them suffer. — ALARMED IN MISSOURI
DEAR ALARMED: There could also be a less drastic solution than calling child protective services. The following time the husband acts out, call the police.
Once he’s out of the home, help your daughter discover a battered women’s shelter that can accept her and her children until she will be able to change into independent.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; thehotline.org) may have the option to allow you to locate one. This might be higher than turning your grandchildren over to strangers.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m twice divorced and recently celebrated my 61st birthday. I look pretty unbelievable, and I’m in great health.
My husbands were really great guys, and I actually have maintained positive relationships with each. My first marriage lasted 20 years; the second lasted 10. I actually have been flying solo for the last five years.
I like my life and lifestyle and haven’t any desire to marry again. I like having my very own space and the liberty to do as I please.
My dilemma is, while I’m open to dating and having companionship, the boys I connect with online all need to be married! As soon as I tell them I’m not searching for marriage, they disappear.
Recently, I used to be literally hung up on in mid-conversation due to my response to the wedding query.
How can I get to the “let’s meet in person” part if the primary or second phone conversation ends things because I’m being honest? I don’t need to lie.
It’s difficult trying to elucidate that I now not consider I should be married in an effort to feel fulfilled. I actually have family and wonderful friends in my life, plus I’m very outgoing.
I admit that I do miss some elements of being in an exclusive relationship. It’s just that I’m not attempting to be a Mrs. anymore. Third time’s the charm … NOT! Please advise. — STOPPING AT TWICE IN TEXAS
DEAR STOPPING: I hear from so many ladies who’ve the alternative problem that you simply are having. As soon as they indicate that they ARE taken with marriage, the boys head for the hills.
You either haven’t met the precise men yet, or it’s possible you’ll be delivering your disinterest in marriage message too strongly.
You may have higher luck should you specify what you DO want — which appears to be companionship and a monogamous relationship.
DEAR ABBY: I want advice about my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage. Her 4 boys, aged 3 to 12, have been affected by what is occurring.
They usually are not properly disciplined and are being abused as well. Her husband is on drugs and abuses my daughter mentally and physically in front of the kids.
Should I keep letting her take my grandsons back to a nasty situation, or should I call child protective services? That is tearing me up inside.
We usually are not young enough to handle caring for the children full time because they’re so tousled. They’d find yourself in foster care.
What should I do? My daughter would probably lose her mind if she lost them, but I can’t stand to see them suffer. — ALARMED IN MISSOURI
DEAR ALARMED: There could also be a less drastic solution than calling child protective services. The following time the husband acts out, call the police.
Once he’s out of the home, help your daughter discover a battered women’s shelter that can accept her and her children until she will be able to change into independent.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; thehotline.org) may have the option to allow you to locate one. This might be higher than turning your grandchildren over to strangers.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
