For those who were to survey parish priests concerning the liturgical issues that almost all often cause them aggravation, I believe eulogies could be high on the list. When someone dies, it is simply right that family and friends be given a probability to share their memories of their loved one. But what number of? And the way long? A single eulogist can sometimes speak for 20 minutes.
Priests are sometimes expected to deliver some form of eulogy of their homily, as well, despite the undeniable fact that the General Instruction for the Roman Missal instructs the priest to not accomplish that (and oftentimes they could not even know the deceased or their family). The balance between pastoral care and logistical realities could be a tough one to strike.
Elements of this challenge played out publicly on the recent funeral of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. Throughout the Mass, Pope Francis offered a homily that was criticized by some as being too “generic” and others as “appalling” for not including more significant reflection on the life and legacy of Benedict.
When someone dies, it is simply right that family and friends be given a probability to share their memories of their loved one. But what number of? And the way long?
An enormous a part of the issue on the subject of planning for eulogies is that the funeral liturgy was not designed with them in mind. As H. Richard Rutherford, C.S.C., professor emeritus of liturgical theology on the University of Portland describes, the funeral services were originally designed as a set of three rituals, each of which had a distinct function within the journey of the deceased from death into everlasting life. The vigil or wake got here first, and it “was the time to give attention to the dead person,” Father Rutherford explains. “Within the classic tradition, it was the place where eulogies would occur.”
Then got here the funeral Mass, which Father Rutherford says “shouldn’t be a lot what the dead person has done, but what God has done [in their lives] and is now doing, calling them to salvation.” The homily shouldn’t be meant to remind us of the achievements of the dead, but of the loving welcome of God. Then the burial or committal emphasizes the afterlife.
“But who’s going to spend three days doing a funeral today?” Father Rutherford asks. “It just doesn’t occur. When people consider a funeral today, they consider the funeral Mass.”
Because the role of the vigil as a spot for sharing stories diminished, eulogies throughout the funeral Mass began to fill within the gap. Father Rutherford notes that the unique 1969 directions updating the funeral rites after the Second Vatican Council gave families the choice of claiming a number of words of greeting or thanks after Communion, before the body was carried out in procession to the cemetery. “That 1969 rite was the culmination of an entire series of experiments the world over over the five previous years,” says Rutherford. The thought of a moment of greeting or acknowledgement got here from the sense that there was a necessity for “a human touch,” said Father Rutherford. “It gives the family a probability to thank people for coming.”
An enormous a part of the issue on the subject of planning for eulogies is that the funeral liturgy was not designed with them in mind.
But once it was included, it almost immediately became a time for sharing stories concerning the deceased. “It quickly got uncontrolled,” says Father Rutherford. “It wasn’t only one person; they went on too long. Sometimes there’s an open mic. It was meant to say something easy, however it took on a lifetime of its own.”
At times pastors or bishops have tried to ban eulogies from funerals entirely. Kenneth Boller, S.J., pastor of St. Francis Xavier Parish in Manhattan, remembers pastors looking for help from the Archdiocese of Latest York with this after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. “Post-9/11 there have been an infinite variety of funerals of young individuals who had perished. It went on for a few years,” he recalls. “It was a really emotional time.” People often had a really difficult time getting through eulogies. “Pastors were searching for a rule from the archdiocese” to assist guide the faithful and maintain some form of boundary, Father Boller recalls.
The archdiocese issued a ruling that the correct place for eulogies was on the wake service, the primary of the three rituals provided within the official Order of Christian Funerals; there have been to be no more eulogies at Mass. But since then, says Father Boller, “It’s been honored more within the breach. Things find their very own way.”
Still, 20 years later, when the Covid-19 pandemic prevented families from having funerals for his or her family members, Father Boller remembered one other concept that had been suggested by pastors in 2001: “Certainly one of the things that had been really useful was, when you couldn’t do words of remembrance at a funeral home, do it before the funeral liturgy.”
This practice looked as if it would make quite a lot of sense for the situations by which there have been few wakes and there have been long gaps between an individual’s death and their memorial Mass. “The immediacy of the grieving was gone,” Father Boller said.
The practice of getting a eulogy or eulogies near the top of Mass is like having a 20-minute intermission right before the climax of a movie.
As churches reopened, St. Francis Xavier Parish instituted the practice of inviting a speaker to supply temporary words of remembrance from the ambo immediately after the gathering song of the Mass. And it has had a major positive impact on funeral liturgies. “It recreates the memory of the deceased for the mourners,” says Father Boller, “conjuring them up” within the minds and hearts of those in attendance, a few of whom may not have seen the deceased for a while. “A story or two, slightly sketch of the history of the deceased and [the speaker] sets the stage for the prayer.”
It also takes a certain pressure off the presider. “In a parish, you don’t at all times know the deceased,” Father Boller explains. By allowing someone who knows and loves the one who has died to talk first, the presider “doesn’t have the burden of attempting to pretend an intimacy with the deceased that shouldn’t be there.” As a substitute, Father Boller said, he can give attention to “our hope for the resurrection and the way we try inside our means to live an honest Christian life.”
I actually have been to funerals at St. Francis Xavier that were done in this manner, and what surprised me most was not the impact of their practice on the start of the liturgy, but the way in which hearing a remembrance early on within the Mass affected the top. Having turn out to be accustomed to a pause within the liturgy after Communion for remarks from family and friends, I had no sense of how naturally the liturgy flows from Communion to the ultimate commendation, the emotional and spiritual movements of that progression. The practice of getting a eulogy or eulogies near the top of Mass is like having a 20-minute intermission right before the climax of a movie. We interrupt the funeral liturgy precisely at its culmination.
“There’s integrity to the ritual,” Father Boller says. “The funeral Mass could be very beautiful.” By placing the words of remembrance at first, we maintain the flow of focus from deceased to Eucharist to final commendation.
The practice shouldn’t be foolproof. The danger in putting the words of remembrance at first is identical as for the top: “that they go too long,” said Father Boller. He does his best to forestall that. “You simply attempt to be honest and direct. [You tell the speakers] That is a possibility to recollect the one you love and to remind everyone who that person was in your life. But we now have the entire Mass to follow, so we now have to be mindful of our time.”
He urges them to put in writing their speeches down, too. “The very best ones keep it to about five minutes,” he says. “But you don’t have complete control.”
Father Boller finds the upsides of offering words of remembrance at the beginning of the Mass has surpassed the occasional problem. “If someone has brought the memory with a poignancy to the forefront [at the beginning of Mass], the ritual of the prayers takes care of the remainder.”
