DEAR ABBY: I’ve been living with someone for 4 years. Once we began living together, his son “Byron” was incarcerated. Byron is 33 and has been in trouble since he was 15. His dad keeps bailing him out. I used two of my bank cards to assist raise the $11,000 bail to get him out of jail. In exchange, Byron agreed to placed on a latest roof for us and help across the house.
Byron has accomplished not one of the tasks that were asked of him, and his dad keeps helping him anyway. We needed to pay Byron’s rent on the rehab so he wouldn’t be kicked out. This has created a rift between me and my boyfriend, who thinks I’m being selfish and greedy.
Am I incorrect for not wanting to assist financially? We got along great until this happened. — DOING TIME, TOO, IN ALABAMA
DEAR DOING TIME: Byron is the person he’s because his father has enabled him since he was a baby. You might be neither selfish nor greedy for refusing to offer more cash. Forgive me if this seems harsh, but unless you should proceed to be emotionally blackmailed by your boyfriend, get out now before you might be drained financially.
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DEAR ABBY: I don’t have any problem driving at night, but I prefer to remain home relatively than exit. Truth be told, I don’t wish to be out after 4 or 5 p.m. Yes, I miss quite a lot of social activities, but I don’t mind.
The issue is friends and acquaintances who, once they discover I’m not going out at night, immediately offer to select me up because they’re kind and gracious. Irrespective of how repeatedly I explain that it’s not the driving, it’s that I prefer to not be out at night, it falls on deaf ears.
I do know I’m lucky to have sweet friends who volunteer to drive me, but I’m bored with explaining myself. Because I don’t need to insult anyone, are you able to suggest a polite option to turn these folks down? Nothing I’ve said thus far has worked, including saying, “It’s not the driving. I don’t exit at night.” — HOMEBODY IN FLORIDA
DEAR HOMEBODY: Perhaps you must state your message a bit of more emphatically by saying, “I don’t think you understand. It’s not the driving, it’s that I’m uncomfortable going out after dark. Please don’t ask me again because my answer isn’t going to alter.”
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DEAR ABBY: My wife’s family has a history of breast cancer. She has had several MRIs and biopsies, which have caused an awesome deal of discomfort and stress. She is now getting in for a lumpectomy. I’m starting to think it might be higher to have her breasts removed. I didn’t marry her boobs; I married the girl behind them. What do you think that? — PROACTIVE IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR PROACTIVE: I’m sure you like her, but I feel you must support your wife emotionally and let this decision be something that’s decided between her and her doctors.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
