DEAR ABBY: I’m a 56-year-old divorcee after a 30–12 months marriage. I actually have been dating a person I’ll call “Tom” for the past 2 1/2 years. I really like my time with him, except once we are out — he’s continuously taking a look at young women. They smile back at him because he’s smiling at them. He is certainly feeding his ego, and he has said he knows he has to stop searching for young women and settle with someone his age with whom he has more in common.
When he sits at a table next to me, he turns his chair of their direction as a substitute of toward the table like a standard person. I do know that is disrespectful. My heart drops to my stomach when he does it. The whole lot is ideal once we’re not in these situations. Is it possible to like a person and ignore this one bad feeling he gives me? I feel prefer it’s slim pickings at my age, and he’s so good in so many other ways. — FOCUSED ON HIM IN LOUISIANA
DEAR FOCUSED: Yes, it is feasible to like someone and ignore the one flaw within the diamond. But what should concern you is just not that he looks at young women, but that he actually said he must “settle” with someone his age (with whom he has more in common). From what you may have written, he doesn’t seem like doing job of that, and the sinking feeling in your stomach when he’s not fully present whenever you’re out together is your intuition telling you that you simply usually are not protected with him.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been happily married for 12 years. We now have a wonderful family — a 12-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. My husband is just not close along with his side of the family. We’re very near mine. My husband has a brother my kids have never met. He has two great-nieces and one great- nephew whom none of us have met. He does maintain a relationship along with his parents. They sometimes visit yearly, as we live out of state.
When my husband and I wed, we were in our 30s, we each had established careers, owned our own homes and lived complete lives. I kept my last name. My husband said he would seek advice from his parents about it because I had a sense they’d not approve. Fast-forward to the current: They all the time address my mail to “Mrs. Bob Jones.” I find this hurtful. It’s normally a birthday card, nevertheless it still feels bad.
Am I a terrible person? I actually have asked my husband to seek advice from them about it, but he refuses. He thinks I want to let it go. But it surely’s hard to feel love and appreciation for individuals who don’t accept me at a basic level. What do you’re thinking that? — WRONG NAME IN TEXAS
DEAR WRONG NAME: You obviously don’t have an in depth relationship together with your in-laws, and I’m sure there’s a couple of reason for it. Should you raise the difficulty of how the envelope is addressed, it would likely drive the wedge deeper between you and them, which is why I agree together with your husband. Let it go. Nevertheless, because seeing it grates on you, be at liberty to toss it within the circular file as you’d another piece of unsolicited mail.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 56-year-old divorcee after a 30–12 months marriage. I actually have been dating a person I’ll call “Tom” for the past 2 1/2 years. I really like my time with him, except once we are out — he’s continuously taking a look at young women. They smile back at him because he’s smiling at them. He is certainly feeding his ego, and he has said he knows he has to stop searching for young women and settle with someone his age with whom he has more in common.
When he sits at a table next to me, he turns his chair of their direction as a substitute of toward the table like a standard person. I do know that is disrespectful. My heart drops to my stomach when he does it. The whole lot is ideal once we’re not in these situations. Is it possible to like a person and ignore this one bad feeling he gives me? I feel prefer it’s slim pickings at my age, and he’s so good in so many other ways. — FOCUSED ON HIM IN LOUISIANA
DEAR FOCUSED: Yes, it is feasible to like someone and ignore the one flaw within the diamond. But what should concern you is just not that he looks at young women, but that he actually said he must “settle” with someone his age (with whom he has more in common). From what you may have written, he doesn’t seem like doing job of that, and the sinking feeling in your stomach when he’s not fully present whenever you’re out together is your intuition telling you that you simply usually are not protected with him.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been happily married for 12 years. We now have a wonderful family — a 12-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. My husband is just not close along with his side of the family. We’re very near mine. My husband has a brother my kids have never met. He has two great-nieces and one great- nephew whom none of us have met. He does maintain a relationship along with his parents. They sometimes visit yearly, as we live out of state.
When my husband and I wed, we were in our 30s, we each had established careers, owned our own homes and lived complete lives. I kept my last name. My husband said he would seek advice from his parents about it because I had a sense they’d not approve. Fast-forward to the current: They all the time address my mail to “Mrs. Bob Jones.” I find this hurtful. It’s normally a birthday card, nevertheless it still feels bad.
Am I a terrible person? I actually have asked my husband to seek advice from them about it, but he refuses. He thinks I want to let it go. But it surely’s hard to feel love and appreciation for individuals who don’t accept me at a basic level. What do you’re thinking that? — WRONG NAME IN TEXAS
DEAR WRONG NAME: You obviously don’t have an in depth relationship together with your in-laws, and I’m sure there’s a couple of reason for it. Should you raise the difficulty of how the envelope is addressed, it would likely drive the wedge deeper between you and them, which is why I agree together with your husband. Let it go. Nevertheless, because seeing it grates on you, be at liberty to toss it within the circular file as you’d another piece of unsolicited mail.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
