Have you ever ever pushed your child to join soccer because all the opposite parents did? Or gotten mad at them for a foul grade because you are concerned about what the teacher thinks?
You may need to envision your ego on the door should you answered yes to any of those questions.
Though not a proper parenting style, this behavior pattern emerges when a parent feels the necessity to assert control or protect their image, even on the expense of their child’s emotional well-being.
“Ego parenting is when a parent is parenting from their very own have to feel good, right, on top of things, or validated,” mental health therapist Cheryl Groskopf told Pop Sugar.
“It’s less about supporting the kid’s growth and more about protecting the parent’s image or feelings.”
Examples of this style are refusing to back down in an argument, pushing a baby into activities they don’t enjoy for the sake of appearances or avoiding apologies to take care of authority.
Dr. Caroline Fenkel, an authority in adolescent mental health, warns that while ego parenting isn’t at all times intentional, its effects might be long-lasting — and you might by accident be teaching your kids that your love is conditional.
“They often internalize the assumption that love is conditional — that they’re only worthy once they perform, behave, or feel a certain way,” Fenkel told Pop Sugar.
This may result in anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem and a fear of failure.
To interrupt the cycle of ego parenting, it first must be acknowledged.
“If you catch yourself reacting from ego, attempt to pause and ask, ‘Is that this about my child’s needs or my very own discomfort?’” Dr. Fenkel advised. “Self-awareness is the entry point to vary.”
As a substitute of attempting to win every disagreement, parents can decide to lean into curiosity: hearken to their child, validate their feelings and check out to know what’s really happening.
Perhaps most significantly, learn to apologize. Admitting once you’ve made a mistake doesn’t weaken your authority — it models accountability and resilience.
“When a parent admits they were improper, it gives a baby permission to be imperfect, too,” Dr. Fenkel says.
“It shows them that relationships can bend without breaking, that repair is feasible, and that accountability is a strength.”
Letting go of ego and embracing humility creates a safer, healthier emotional environment on your kids.
Parenting isn’t about control — it’s about connection.
