DEAR ABBY: I actually have a 16-month-old who has recently learned to walk. My mom was watching him sooner or later every week while I worked part-time, but she ultimately decided it was an excessive amount of stress on her back and said she could now not lift him.
Currently, she has been telling me I would like to “train” him to do certain things to ensure that her to observe him without lifting him (e.g., climb into his own automobile seat). Abby, he’s too young to consistently do anything like that.
It’s now not possible for her to place him in his automobile seat, lift him to place him in his crib, high chair, etc.
She’s being very pushy about me finding alternative routes to do things that ultimately will make more work for me. I feel it might be safer and easier to pay an able-bodied caregiver.
Talking to her about this has change into stressful because she calls me “crazy” for pondering this can be a safety concern. If we’re on the park and he does something unsafe, I pick him up and take away him because he shouldn’t be yet a reliable listener.
How do I discuss this together with her in a sort but firm way, and is my concern valid? — LIFTING HIM UP IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LIFTING: You usually are not crazy! After all your concerns are valid.
Your son is years away from having the ability to do what your mother is suggesting. End those discussions.
She must be told kindly, but firmly, that you already know she loves her grandson, but he needs more hands-on care than she is ready to present him, which is why you are hiring someone to do it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m one among your male readers. My best friend, “Will,” and his family have been close friends of mine for nine years. I regard them as clan, and we do almost every thing together.
Two years ago, they bought a house and converted the garage right into a room for Will’s brother-in-law.
A yr ago, the brother-in-law met a lady I’ll call “Anika,” who stays with them several days each week. She has made her place within the family, doing every thing with Will’s wife and their kid.
Will and his wife have now began including her on trips and things they might have normally invited me to do with them — but without me.
I recently discovered that Anika was disgusted to listen to that I used to be happening a recent trip with them, but she gave in to Will to let me go.
I feel like I’m being pushed out of the family I do know and love by this latest girlfriend. How do I handle this? — PUSHED ASIDE IN THE EAST
DEAR PUSHED: Tell Will that over the nine years you’ve got been close friends with him and his family, you’ve got grown to treat them as your clan.
Then tell him it has come to your attention that Anika didn’t want you included on that last outing and ask if he knows why.
Had you offended her not directly? She could also be jealous of the connection you’ve got had for therefore long with Will and his brother-in-law and be unwilling to share her boyfriend — or his family.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have a 16-month-old who has recently learned to walk. My mom was watching him sooner or later every week while I worked part-time, but she ultimately decided it was an excessive amount of stress on her back and said she could now not lift him.
Currently, she has been telling me I would like to “train” him to do certain things to ensure that her to observe him without lifting him (e.g., climb into his own automobile seat). Abby, he’s too young to consistently do anything like that.
It’s now not possible for her to place him in his automobile seat, lift him to place him in his crib, high chair, etc.
She’s being very pushy about me finding alternative routes to do things that ultimately will make more work for me. I feel it might be safer and easier to pay an able-bodied caregiver.
Talking to her about this has change into stressful because she calls me “crazy” for pondering this can be a safety concern. If we’re on the park and he does something unsafe, I pick him up and take away him because he shouldn’t be yet a reliable listener.
How do I discuss this together with her in a sort but firm way, and is my concern valid? — LIFTING HIM UP IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LIFTING: You usually are not crazy! After all your concerns are valid.
Your son is years away from having the ability to do what your mother is suggesting. End those discussions.
She must be told kindly, but firmly, that you already know she loves her grandson, but he needs more hands-on care than she is ready to present him, which is why you are hiring someone to do it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m one among your male readers. My best friend, “Will,” and his family have been close friends of mine for nine years. I regard them as clan, and we do almost every thing together.
Two years ago, they bought a house and converted the garage right into a room for Will’s brother-in-law.
A yr ago, the brother-in-law met a lady I’ll call “Anika,” who stays with them several days each week. She has made her place within the family, doing every thing with Will’s wife and their kid.
Will and his wife have now began including her on trips and things they might have normally invited me to do with them — but without me.
I recently discovered that Anika was disgusted to listen to that I used to be happening a recent trip with them, but she gave in to Will to let me go.
I feel like I’m being pushed out of the family I do know and love by this latest girlfriend. How do I handle this? — PUSHED ASIDE IN THE EAST
DEAR PUSHED: Tell Will that over the nine years you’ve got been close friends with him and his family, you’ve got grown to treat them as your clan.
Then tell him it has come to your attention that Anika didn’t want you included on that last outing and ask if he knows why.
Had you offended her not directly? She could also be jealous of the connection you’ve got had for therefore long with Will and his brother-in-law and be unwilling to share her boyfriend — or his family.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
