DEAR ABBY: My brother just got engaged to the “WOAT” (Worst of All Time). They’ve been dating for two 1/2 years, and no one within the family has anything good to say about her. Up to now, he all the time had stable relationships with girls we actually enjoyed. But now he’s getting older, his friends are getting engaged and it looks as if he’s settling and feeling pressure. They’re all the time arguing, and things he never did before he’s doing now — multiple job changes, making less time for family, etc.
Everyone thinks that, because the oldest brother, I ought to be the one to voice our concerns about her. Would it not be too drastic to inform him it’s a foul idea? I used to be going to say I support him if he can find three redeeming qualities in her because none of us can find one. — NO FAN OF HER IN THE EAST
DEAR NO FAN: I don’t think telling your recently engaged brother that his fiancee is the “worst of all time” and nobody within the family can find any redeeming qualities in her can be welcomed. I do think, nonetheless, that because the oldest sibling you would indicate that you simply are concerned because he and this woman argue loads, which is why you might be suggesting they seek premarital counseling to go off any problems down the road. Then cross your fingers that he follows through.
DEAR ABBY: Regardless that we live just an hour away and would love to rejoice holidays with my elderly parents, they like to spend them with their friends. This began when my family lived 14 hours away. We’d come home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas annually. If we weren’t home, my parents got along with a bunch of childless buddies. This worked out great — they weren’t alone, and I didn’t feel guilty.
We moved back home three years ago, primarily to be near family again.
Nonetheless, my parents spend all the most important holidays with their buddies, even when my family is home alone. Then my mom asks me to host an alternate holiday so the family can get together. Last 12 months, I attempted to speak it through together with her. I said it was hurtful that she selected to spend holidays together with her friends and asked her to think about family plans first. But she was soon as much as her old tricks. I’m 53, but I still want my mom and pop. What should I do? — NEEDY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR NEEDY: Because “talking it through” along with your mother hasn’t worked, it’s time for you to begin making other plans for the most important holidays.
You might be only as home alone as you ought to be. You and your husband could travel or join an area group and do some volunteering for those less fortunate than you in your community.
It’s time to take a page out of your mother’s playbook and do what she did, which is to declare some independence from her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My brother just got engaged to the “WOAT” (Worst of All Time). They’ve been dating for two 1/2 years, and no one within the family has anything good to say about her. Up to now, he all the time had stable relationships with girls we actually enjoyed. But now he’s getting older, his friends are getting engaged and it looks as if he’s settling and feeling pressure. They’re all the time arguing, and things he never did before he’s doing now — multiple job changes, making less time for family, etc.
Everyone thinks that, because the oldest brother, I ought to be the one to voice our concerns about her. Would it not be too drastic to inform him it’s a foul idea? I used to be going to say I support him if he can find three redeeming qualities in her because none of us can find one. — NO FAN OF HER IN THE EAST
DEAR NO FAN: I don’t think telling your recently engaged brother that his fiancee is the “worst of all time” and nobody within the family can find any redeeming qualities in her can be welcomed. I do think, nonetheless, that because the oldest sibling you would indicate that you simply are concerned because he and this woman argue loads, which is why you might be suggesting they seek premarital counseling to go off any problems down the road. Then cross your fingers that he follows through.
DEAR ABBY: Regardless that we live just an hour away and would love to rejoice holidays with my elderly parents, they like to spend them with their friends. This began when my family lived 14 hours away. We’d come home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas annually. If we weren’t home, my parents got along with a bunch of childless buddies. This worked out great — they weren’t alone, and I didn’t feel guilty.
We moved back home three years ago, primarily to be near family again.
Nonetheless, my parents spend all the most important holidays with their buddies, even when my family is home alone. Then my mom asks me to host an alternate holiday so the family can get together. Last 12 months, I attempted to speak it through together with her. I said it was hurtful that she selected to spend holidays together with her friends and asked her to think about family plans first. But she was soon as much as her old tricks. I’m 53, but I still want my mom and pop. What should I do? — NEEDY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR NEEDY: Because “talking it through” along with your mother hasn’t worked, it’s time for you to begin making other plans for the most important holidays.
You might be only as home alone as you ought to be. You and your husband could travel or join an area group and do some volunteering for those less fortunate than you in your community.
It’s time to take a page out of your mother’s playbook and do what she did, which is to declare some independence from her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
