DEAR ABBY: Seventeen years ago, I had a mental breakdown. For the primary three years afterward, my husband stood by me. The medications I used to be prescribed caused me to realize greater than 100 kilos. I actually have tried diets, to no avail. I suggested to him that perhaps we could hold one another and see where it led us. His reply was, “I’m not drawn to you. You knew once we married that I wasn’t drawn to larger (fat) women.” Since then, I not respect or value him. He has his room, and I actually have mine on the opposite side of the home. We do absolutely nothing together.
When he involves my bedroom, he doesn’t knock. When I want to undergo his room, I at all times knock. He said, “That is my house, too, and I don’t knock.” I can’t stand his smug ways. I still must pretend we’re married, but I don’t feel it. He calls me “baby.” I actually have expressed that I actually have no real interest in pretending and have asked him to stop calling me that.
I’m on a hard and fast income. All of my retirement money is invested on this home and property. I pay all of the bills. We haven’t had sex in 14 years. I’m lonely for male companionship. I don’t know the way for much longer I can live this fashion, regardless that he didn’t leave after I really needed him. Please advise. — NUMB IN ALABAMA
DEAR NUMB: It has been 17 years because you were prescribed the medications you’ve got been taking, and there can have been improvements made within the intervening years. Contact the doctor who prescribed them and ask whether there’s something newer that will permit you to lose among the weight you haven’t been capable of lose. It might help when you explain what those meds have done to the state of your marriage.
If adjusting your medication will not be possible, you should have to choose how vital male companionship is to you, because you’ll have to seek out it elsewhere. Seek the advice of an attorney and ask what you’d wind up with if the home were sold and the cash was split. After that, you could be in a greater position to explore your options.
DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20-plus years had two kids together with his first wife. (I actually have none.) Certainly one of his kids, who answers no voicemails, emails or texts from us, now has two kids under age 5 from his own second marriage. They live lower than an hour away. My husband and I saw the younger child once, almost a yr ago. It was the last time we saw my husband’s son and his kids. My husband has seen his grandkids lower than 4 times in 4 years. Have you ever any suggestions on how you can repair this emotional cutoff? — UNWORTHY IN MARYLAND
DEAR UNWORTHY: Has your husband told his son that he would love to have a better relationship with him and his family? When exactly did this estrangement begin? Do you recognize what caused it? Once you’ve got the answers to those questions, if apologies are so as, your husband should offer them verbally, in writing or in person. The ball will then be in your stepson’s court.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: Seventeen years ago, I had a mental breakdown. For the primary three years afterward, my husband stood by me. The medications I used to be prescribed caused me to realize greater than 100 kilos. I actually have tried diets, to no avail. I suggested to him that perhaps we could hold one another and see where it led us. His reply was, “I’m not drawn to you. You knew once we married that I wasn’t drawn to larger (fat) women.” Since then, I not respect or value him. He has his room, and I actually have mine on the opposite side of the home. We do absolutely nothing together.
When he involves my bedroom, he doesn’t knock. When I want to undergo his room, I at all times knock. He said, “That is my house, too, and I don’t knock.” I can’t stand his smug ways. I still must pretend we’re married, but I don’t feel it. He calls me “baby.” I actually have expressed that I actually have no real interest in pretending and have asked him to stop calling me that.
I’m on a hard and fast income. All of my retirement money is invested on this home and property. I pay all of the bills. We haven’t had sex in 14 years. I’m lonely for male companionship. I don’t know the way for much longer I can live this fashion, regardless that he didn’t leave after I really needed him. Please advise. — NUMB IN ALABAMA
DEAR NUMB: It has been 17 years because you were prescribed the medications you’ve got been taking, and there can have been improvements made within the intervening years. Contact the doctor who prescribed them and ask whether there’s something newer that will permit you to lose among the weight you haven’t been capable of lose. It might help when you explain what those meds have done to the state of your marriage.
If adjusting your medication will not be possible, you should have to choose how vital male companionship is to you, because you’ll have to seek out it elsewhere. Seek the advice of an attorney and ask what you’d wind up with if the home were sold and the cash was split. After that, you could be in a greater position to explore your options.
DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20-plus years had two kids together with his first wife. (I actually have none.) Certainly one of his kids, who answers no voicemails, emails or texts from us, now has two kids under age 5 from his own second marriage. They live lower than an hour away. My husband and I saw the younger child once, almost a yr ago. It was the last time we saw my husband’s son and his kids. My husband has seen his grandkids lower than 4 times in 4 years. Have you ever any suggestions on how you can repair this emotional cutoff? — UNWORTHY IN MARYLAND
DEAR UNWORTHY: Has your husband told his son that he would love to have a better relationship with him and his family? When exactly did this estrangement begin? Do you recognize what caused it? Once you’ve got the answers to those questions, if apologies are so as, your husband should offer them verbally, in writing or in person. The ball will then be in your stepson’s court.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
