DEAR ABBY: How do I get my mother-in-law to stop dropping by without calling first? My husband and I even have been married for 26 years. Each of us have asked her nicely through the years to please call to be certain that it’s an excellent time, relatively than simply drop by unannounced. She, nevertheless, blatantly ignores our wishes and continues to do it. Even when she discovers it’s a foul time, she blankly looks at us and has this “drop the whole lot, I’m here” attitude as she comes strolling in.
Once, once I had just finished preparing a beautiful dinner I had worked hard on for a few hours, as we were sitting all the way down to eat, she rang our doorbell. We had loads of food and invited her to remain. As a substitute of joining us or going home, she went out our back door and sat on our terrace — in our view. We went out and again invited her to hitch us, but she refused to are available or take the hint and leave. So we needed to see her the entire time we were eating my lovely dinner.
We now have told her she all the time drops by on the WORST time. What I don’t understand is why she gets her jollies doing it. It may very well be a nicer situation if we had an agreed-upon time and we could all have a pleasant visit.
Normally, I even have an amazing relationship along with her, and talk along with her ceaselessly on the phone. Two weeks before an event I used to be working on, I told her the next week I used to be going to be crazy busy working on it. She told me to not hassle calling her the next week so I could focus on that project. But during that busy week, she dropped in on us again!
I don’t think she respects me in any respect. My husband sent her a firm email telling her not to do that again. How can we get through to her? — MAD IN MISSOURI
DEAR MAD: Your mother-in-law continues to do that since you allow her to get away with it. The following time she drops in unannounced, tell her it isn’t convenient and don’t let her in. If she “strolls” in anyway, you AND your husband should tell her she is interrupting what you’re doing, ask her to please call before coming over after which show her out. She isn’t going to prefer it, but if you happen to are consistent, your problem might be solved.
DEAR ABBY: I work with a lady my age. We were kinda close friends years ago, after which drifted apart. She has worked here for 3 years now. She annoys me because she plays dumb once I know she isn’t, and he or she continuously nitpicks at things I miss, like putting commas in places where they ought to be. She also likes to aggravate the boss to get an increase out of him. I’m not one for confrontation, so I grin and bear it, but it surely’s wearing on me, and I don’t know how one can tell her to depart me alone. — AGGRAVATED CO-WORKER
DEAR AGGRAVATED: Scratch the thought of telling this girl to “leave you alone.” By editing your copy and putting in commas where they belong, she’s making you look good. Her relationship with the boss is none of what you are promoting. If he was seriously aggravated, he would let her go.
You should not have to be bosom buddies together with your co-worker. In our work careers, there’ll all the time be some people we are going to “love less.” The key is to seek out a technique to coexist — unless the situation is so terrible that it prevents you from doing all of your job.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: How do I get my mother-in-law to stop dropping by without calling first? My husband and I even have been married for 26 years. Each of us have asked her nicely through the years to please call to be certain that it’s an excellent time, relatively than simply drop by unannounced. She, nevertheless, blatantly ignores our wishes and continues to do it. Even when she discovers it’s a foul time, she blankly looks at us and has this “drop the whole lot, I’m here” attitude as she comes strolling in.
Once, once I had just finished preparing a beautiful dinner I had worked hard on for a few hours, as we were sitting all the way down to eat, she rang our doorbell. We had loads of food and invited her to remain. As a substitute of joining us or going home, she went out our back door and sat on our terrace — in our view. We went out and again invited her to hitch us, but she refused to are available or take the hint and leave. So we needed to see her the entire time we were eating my lovely dinner.
We now have told her she all the time drops by on the WORST time. What I don’t understand is why she gets her jollies doing it. It may very well be a nicer situation if we had an agreed-upon time and we could all have a pleasant visit.
Normally, I even have an amazing relationship along with her, and talk along with her ceaselessly on the phone. Two weeks before an event I used to be working on, I told her the next week I used to be going to be crazy busy working on it. She told me to not hassle calling her the next week so I could focus on that project. But during that busy week, she dropped in on us again!
I don’t think she respects me in any respect. My husband sent her a firm email telling her not to do that again. How can we get through to her? — MAD IN MISSOURI
DEAR MAD: Your mother-in-law continues to do that since you allow her to get away with it. The following time she drops in unannounced, tell her it isn’t convenient and don’t let her in. If she “strolls” in anyway, you AND your husband should tell her she is interrupting what you’re doing, ask her to please call before coming over after which show her out. She isn’t going to prefer it, but if you happen to are consistent, your problem might be solved.
DEAR ABBY: I work with a lady my age. We were kinda close friends years ago, after which drifted apart. She has worked here for 3 years now. She annoys me because she plays dumb once I know she isn’t, and he or she continuously nitpicks at things I miss, like putting commas in places where they ought to be. She also likes to aggravate the boss to get an increase out of him. I’m not one for confrontation, so I grin and bear it, but it surely’s wearing on me, and I don’t know how one can tell her to depart me alone. — AGGRAVATED CO-WORKER
DEAR AGGRAVATED: Scratch the thought of telling this girl to “leave you alone.” By editing your copy and putting in commas where they belong, she’s making you look good. Her relationship with the boss is none of what you are promoting. If he was seriously aggravated, he would let her go.
You should not have to be bosom buddies together with your co-worker. In our work careers, there’ll all the time be some people we are going to “love less.” The key is to seek out a technique to coexist — unless the situation is so terrible that it prevents you from doing all of your job.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
