Last 12 months, on the age of 59, I selected a recent godmother.
A 12 months earlier, my godmother and aunt, Jean Kennedy Smith, had passed away. Jean and I had built a lifetime of memories and confidences—we had worked closely on expanding arts opportunities for individuals with disabilities—and her loss left me facing an emotional and spiritual void.
My relationship with Jean couldn’t get replaced, nevertheless it was essential for me to construct one other unique relationship with someone who embodied integrity, a deep spirituality and a profound gratitude for all times. Step by step, a picture of a possible recent godmother formed in mind: my Aunt Ethel Kennedy.
My Aunt Ethel and I even have long shared a special bond. Our dinners together are stuffed with stories and followed by songs. (Ethel loves after I croon a current Broadway hit or an old Irish ballad.) We love sailing together on Nantucket Sound, and she or he pretends to act surprised after I ask her to take the helm, which I at all times do. We’ve laughed together and mourned together. I even have at all times deeply valued her unique perspective and guidance, especially during difficult and painful times. I feel that my Aunt Ethel possesses more wisdom, compassion, faith, gratitude and acceptance than anyone else I do know.
Yet I hesitated to ask her to tackle this recent role. As our family’s matriarch, my Aunt Ethel has a number of other family responsibilities. And he or she has many children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who already require her love and a spotlight. I didn’t need to burden her or add to her already long list of obligations.
However the more I considered it, the more I noticed that she was the one person in my life who embodied the type of faith that I most admire and respect. I made a decision to jot down a letter and ask her to be my godmother.
One evening, before one among our fireside suppers, I made a decision to read the letter out loud to her. Aunt Ethel was seated in her usual spot on her blue couch, along with her dog, Rascal, resting by her side. I stood up and pulled the handwritten letter out of my shirt pocket. I cleared my throat. With tears starting to well in my eyes, I read her my letter. I explained how much I loved and cherished her, and the way I hoped she would consider this recent, special role of godmother.
I’ll always remember the love and emotion that each of us felt when she enthusiastically accepted. I used to be overwhelmed with joy.
My Aunt Ethel suggested that we must always in some way formalize our recent relationship and I agreed. We invited our family and a few close friends to attend Mass together, after which we each offered an affidavit of affection for one another, in addition to our hopes for our recent spiritual relationship. (We were blessed to have Matt Malone, S.J., of America Media, to steer us through this ceremony.) We concluded the service by asking everyone present to affix together to renew our baptismal guarantees, which united us with each other and reaffirmed our relationship with our larger Christian community.
A Recent Starting
As I even have shared this story with a broader group of relations and Catholic friends, many have been surprised to learn of my status as a recent godson. That they had never imagined it was even possible, as an adult, to decide on a recent godparent after losing an old one. I also shared my story with several priests. They told me that they may not recall a single instance when an adult has invited someone to turn into their recent godparent.
A few of my friends described mourning the lack of their godparents, through death or disconnection, while others cannot recall ever meeting their godparents. It’s a task which means various things to different people, however the Catholic Church has a selected understanding of it. For infant baptisms, typically a godparent is an in depth friend or relative of the kid’s parents. They’re chosen to bear witness to a baby’s christening and are expected to guide the kid of their character development and spiritual formation. And within the early church, godparents would vow to bear legal and financial responsibility for his or her godchild within the event of neglect or the death of the parents.
But too often, we understand the godparent/godchild relationship to increase only through the godchild’s, well, childhood. I feel that our Catholic community must expand our current notion of this holy relationship for those of us baptized as infants with a view to emphasize that the role is one which lasts—and is required—for a lifetime. If we fail to do that, we will probably be missing out on an unlimited opportunity to strengthen our spiritual and intergenerational bonds.
If we fail to do that, we will probably be missing out on an unlimited opportunity to strengthen our spiritual and intergenerational bonds.
The necessity and desire for spiritual guidance, love, support and private mentorship doesn’t end once we reach maturity. All of us proceed to need assistance with difficult decisions and private challenges throughout our lives. When the lively role of a godparent ends, whether through apathy, estrangement or death, we must always be happy to ask one other person to tackle that role. It’s a wonderful method to acknowledge, honor and rejoice a person who already has opened their heart and, by embracing this recent role, could make a crucial difference. My experience in forging this recent relationship already has deepened my relationship with my recent godmother and fortified my sense of connection to my Catholic faith.
This shouldn’t be to say that our relationship has suddenly shifted in a brief time period. But there is unquestionably a recent feeling of being united and a deeper sense of trust and confidence. There’s a security and luxury that comes from with the ability to speak truthfully and be vulnerable with someone within the context of this relationship. Aunt Ethel has shared with me that she feels the identical.
There are various ways the Catholic Church can seek to expand our current and too-often limited concept of a godparent, whether which means helping people to seek out recent godparents from amongst a parish community, celebrating a Mass for godparents and godchildren or offering lectures on the history—and possible future—meanings of the role. But we want not wait for institutional change to take this step. In the event you are lacking a godparent, you’ll be able to take into consideration honoring an individual in your life with an invite to this recent relationship straight away. All members of our faith community deserve a likelihood to hunt down and discover a spiritual mentor and a respected, loving presence.
As of late my Aunt Ethel and I still do the identical things we now have at all times done—sharing dinners and songs, hopes and dreams—but those times together now feel much more special, because we now share this unique bond with one another.
